I was listening to a marriage counsellor on TV talking about 7 points all couples need to do to keep their marriage humming. It was all the usual kindergarten stuff for an old wizened, battle-scarred marriage veteran like me, but I admit one point hit me.
She was rattling on about understanding each other’s “love language,” which in non-soppy terms simply meant understanding how my wife communicates her love for me, and how I communicate my love for her. But that’s when the thought struck me, as to why I don’t pray well.
Talking isn’t my “love language.” I’m a listener. I communicate my love for my wife far more by listening than talking. And it’s the same with God too, because I’d much rather do Bible study than pray. I much prefer hearing him talk. It’s his voice I’d rather hear, not mine.
But that’s me. I’m not a talker at the best of times. I don’t like any social occasion that involves just chit-chat. I’m not very good at over-the-fence conversation with a neighbour. I don’t like group prayer, either. But I’ll listen all day to someone who’s got something to say that’s personal and important to them. That’s how I communicate my love. It’s by listening.
And listening is just fine with God, too, because “faith comes from hearing (Romans 10:17),” and Jesus talks about those who “listen to my voice (John 10:16).” He loves us listening to him. But I’m also struck by the thought that God loves listening to us, too. He loves to hear us talk. He loves us asking for things – and the list can be as long as we like it to be, John 14:14 - ”You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it.”
God actually loves listening to us ask for anything and everything he has on offer. And he communicates that love very clearly, too. “If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be given you (John 15:7).” Well, his words certainly remain in me, because it’s his word I love to hear. But that now puts me in a position where I can ask whatever I wish from God and it’s mine!
So now what do I do?! Prayer isn’t just having to talk anymore, it’s the chance to ask God for everything he has on offer, and in full too (Colossians 1:9) – and it’s already mine as I’m asking (Mark 11:24)! It’s a whole new love language for me, that’ll take some getting used to, but what if it works between husbands and wives, too?! Now there’s a place to practice!
Filed under: Prayer
