Is homosexual love really love?

Homosexuals ask a good question, which is: “How can there be anything wrong or harmful or even religiously offensive in our relationship as same-sex couples, when we love each other?” What on earth is wrong with love? Surely, love is what Christians believe in too.

But it’s love according to what, or whose, definition? And that’s a good question too, because there are a lot of definitions of love floating around. You hear of men, for instance, who say they love their wives while openly flirting with other women and even having affairs with them. I imagine these men think they really are in love, with both the women they’re flirting with and their wives as well, but on whose definition of love are they operating by? And would it matter to these men if their wives hate what they’re doing and don’t think it’s love at all? Oh, but it is love, these men say, and they are utterly convinced of it too. But is it really love?

And what about the girls who end up pregnant because of boys who said to them, “If you love me you’ll have sex with me.” In the boy’s mind, and maybe even the girl’s mind too, it seems like a fair definition of love, but where did they get that idea from in the first place? And did either of them consider the risk of pregnancy or give a thought for the children who might be born? Oh, but we love each other, they say, and that’s all that matters. But is it really love?

But if we reply to these kids, “No it isn’t love at all,” and they shout back, “Who says?”- then what do we say? And that’s a good question too, isn’t it, because on what authority are we basing our own definition of love in return? We say it isn’t love what these kids are doing, or what husbands with roving eyes are doing, but what do we say next if they disagree? To whom or to what do we now turn to prove or demonstrate which definition of love is correct?

And that’s our problem, isn’t it? We’re all stuck in a culture that demands the right to make up its own definitions. But on what are those definitions based? On changing fads? On minority group demands? On what some people say is love and we’d all better agree – or else?

And some people even dare to say that God would approve of their love, when it’s clear from the Bible that their definition of love is not his at all. So, what does he say is love, then?

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